Frustration.

I’m pretty much done with the roller coaster ride! Everyday it’s something. Yesterday she’s good, today she’s good BUT…it’s the BUT that kills you. Remember? SHE IS STILL CRITICAL! Ah yes, that’s right. That’s why I’m not still pregnant and my child lives in a plastic box in the hospital.

She looks fine. She looks comfortable, and happy, and seems just fine! But apparently her lungs are not getting rid of the CO2 effectively. So that number is coming back “high” on her blood gas. I say “high” because she has had that number for days and no one has really complained about it. But, today there is talk of going back on the ventilator.

As her mom, who sees that move as moving backwards I say NO! Nope, do not put her back on the vent! How is she ever gonna get better and progress if she stays on that damn vent? I can not take her home or breast feed her if she is on the ventilator!!!!!

But I don’t know anything. And obviously if she needs the vent I want her to have it. Because ultimately I want her to live, get better, come home…..

This child also needs to grow. They want her to average about 20 grams a day and it’s not happening.

They are going to wait to see what tomorrow morning’s blood gas is to make a decision.

We are in need, still, of big prayers.
We need prayer for her lungs and weight gain.
I need prayer for strength and positiveness.
Ben needs prayer for strength as well

So, please, please, please keep us in your prayers.

~BJTO

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5 Replies to “…”

  1. I always keep your dear family in my thoughts. She was so wonderful this morning…thank you for letting us see her.

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  2. just trust your medical staff. its not going to hurt her to rest on the vent a day or so let her lungs build up and get the CO2 go down. I know you don’t want to hear that but it will be ok. we do the same thing with big people when weaning them off the vent. Sending lots of love and prayers.

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