36 Weeks

36 weeks.
That is how old Taryn is gestational. I can’t believe I should still be pregnant and waddling around right now. Instead Taryn has been alive 79 days and she is 11 weeks old.

As I was leaving the hospital today I started thinking about how old she is. And then I started thinking about when she will be able to come home. No one talks about it because she is a curve ball thrower, and it seems when we get a plan in place she changes things up. But I wonder if in 4 weeks she will be able to come home. I doubt it, i think more like sometime in November. Right now its ok that she is in there, she is supposed to be there, but once her due date comes and goes I know I will have to work to contain the bitterness I will have. Because after her due date the NICU will be stealing MY time. It’s so awful to think like that especially because they lover her so much and they are helping her get better. But, as her Mom I seem to have rationalized that its ok Taryn isn’t with me right now because she should still be inside me growing and isn’t, so the NICU has to help her. But once her due date hits, she should be mine, mine, all mine…or so my heart thinks.

The current plan: (If Taryn doesn’t change it)
Tonight she was moved into a crib, and a little closer to the door to go home! They have noticed she is done with the plastic box! She kinda would get sad when they would lower the top and happy and interactive when they would raise the top. So, we bought her a mobile which she really likes to look at and this move to the crib should give her more stimulation and help her developmentally.

They are going to start her on the steroids again, and hopefully extubate her on Friday and put her on the CPAP. They will continue to give her the steroids for a while after they extubate to help her out and hopefully get her over the hump on the CPAP.

They are going to wait till Friday for a couple of reasons one of them being that her “Auntie” Patricia will be working that day and since she is her primary nurse they wanted to make sure she was there to be part of the celebration! –I LOVE our NICU!!!! They are so amazing and take care of Taryn so well and they all have invested so much into her. Ben and I couldn’t be more blessed than to be going through this with the support of all these amazing Nurses, RTs, and Doctors.

We need to be praying for a few things:

>That her body stores up a reserve of strength to help her come off the ventilator.
>That this extra dose of steroids helps and there are no negative side effects from them.
>That she excels on the CPAP and will never need the ventilator again.
>That her growth starts to increase. While she continues to grow, she is in the 1 percentile for weight, length, and head circumference. In other words she is tiny and needs to get bigger!



3 Replies to “36 Weeks”

  1. God bless our NICU. They are amazing.

    And Thank you, Lord for the progression Taryn has made thus far. I pray that it is your will to help her to continue to grow and thrive so that she can come home to the family that so desperately wants to show her a life in your light. I pray for the glorious day when the nurses feel that bittersweet triumph of sending a child they have loved as their own home. Let Taryn grow big and strong, smart and kind. I know that you have big plans for her life, as you do for my own micro preemie, and I pray that they both know just how blessed they have been in this life.



  2. Janelle:
    I have made a committment to the Lord to pray constantly for Taryn and to Fast one day a week for her. Just know that Tuesday or Wednesday of each week I will be focusing my day on her. Pastor Jack said that fasting “humbles the soul”. Why God honors it, I’m not sure however Christ instructed it in His ministry. My intent is not to bring credit to what I have committed to but to encourage you and Ben that there are those who really care about Taryn and her wellness. My sister Darlene, Laura and others join me in this process. I can tell you it has made a difference in my spiritual walk. It is so easy to become complacent and lazy. We need a “wake-up call” from time to time. Life is a difficult journey and we need His constant strength and “intervention” to nagivate the “way we should go”.
    Taryn has my heart in her “wee hand”.


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