*Sigh*  The munch is back to her old self!  We on the other hand, are still exhausted from Thursday. 

Today when we went to see her she was all cuddled up and sleeping.  Then, I think she hears my voice and wakes up to play.  🙂  Today was one of her longest wake periods while I was there.  I would say she was up and interacting for a good hour and 15 min.  She didn’t look tired or uncomfortable, she just looked happy to see us.  And, gave me a really BIG dirty diaper to clean…and clean…and clean some more.  It was one of those kind where my Dad used to put us under the faucet to clean us up.  😉

I really want to bring her home.  I know she doesn’t know any different, but I feel so badly that she is still there and will be there for a while longer.  I hate that I have to leave her.  I don’t like that she could possibly know that I leave her.  Again, I know she doesn’t know any better, but I feel like I need to explain to her that she has to be there and I am not leaving her there because I don’t want to take her home.  It simply breaks my heart.  Imagine giving birth and then not being able to take your baby home with you.  You know you are a parent, but you don’t get to live like a typical parent.  It is really hard.

The first few weeks I had that period of time where I was bitter that her Nurses, and RT’s spent more time with her and knew her better than I did.  But, I can honestly say that feeling is gone and I am just so thankful she is surrounded by such love.  I mean if she has to be stuck in a hospital thank the Lord she is there.  I was telling one of her nurses the other day, that when I walk into the NICU I feel like I am walking into our family room.  Comparably it is a smaller NICU, so all the nurses are able to get know the families that are there long-term.  Where as if we were someplace else we might not even be able to meet everyone that works there.  I never have to worry that she will be sitting in a dirty diaper too long, or that she will be laying there awake with no one to talk to her.  Or simply that the nurse taking care of her won’t know her personality and over look a need she has.  They ALL know her and know just how to take care of her.

She has done an amazing job recovering from Thursday.  Every day her vent settings are getting lower and she is adjusts to it beautifully.  It looks as though I will get to resume holding her tomorrow!  4 days of not holding her is waayyy too many days!  Tuesday we are going to have another BIG meeting with everyone to discuss the past 12 weeks and what the “plan” will be from here on out.

Please continue to keep us in your prayers, and thank you for all the prayers that have been said.



2 Replies to “Update”

  1. Janelle you & Taryn are in my prayers. I can only imagine the challenges & pain you have faced. I wish Icould make it easier for you, Taryn, your Hubby, your mom & dad, too. Thank you for your blog…you write so beautifully…we can feel your pain. I am so grateful that you are cleaving to God instead of pushing him away. God & prayers got me thru Pete’s near death experience. Hang in there!
    With love,


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