I don’t understand why my daughter is not recovering from this infection like she always has in the past. And the thing that is most stressful is that she is in a new hospital. They DON”T KNOW HER!!!! I am confused by the meds they are giving her and why she is on them when she never really needed them before. Is it that she is just really sick this time or that they are giving her too much? I don’t like hearing that they are experimenting right now with positioning and meds to see what she likes best.
I miss our nurses and RTs. I want her to go back. I am exhausted with worry. I want her other mommies to go back to taking care of her. They never told me to call back repeatedly. They never told me they couldn’t talk to me. I never had a doctor hang up on me because they had to go to a delivery. I want to get her team from Los Robles and pile them in my car and take them there to help her. Dr. Mah has been there this week and has been keeping tabs on her. I know that if there was something really wrong what they were doing he would say something so I guess everything is OK. But at the same time I don’t know.
WHY IS SHE NOT SATURATING WELL!!??!! WHY IS SHE STILL ON 100% OXYGEN!??!! Are they causing some of this because they don’t know her or is she just really that sick??
Friends, I’m loosing my mind. I am so incredibly stress ridden and overwhelmed.
Please…Lord. PLEASE, please heal my baby. Lord YOU raised Lazarus from the dead…you can surely breathe your breath into Taryn’s lungs and heal her in an instant. I am begging, please, please heal her now or take her home. I can’t take it anymore that she has to continue to go through this. I don’t know how to pray any more. I don’t know how to do this anymore. I need relief Lord, and need You to make Taryn better. Spare her sweet little life Lord I am begging. But please don’t drag this out if Your plan is to take her home before I can. Lord I believe in Your miracles, but I am afraid and am growing weary that You are not going to give us a miracle of healing. I pray You send Your Angels into that NICU, I pray You cover her in Your protection. Please let her know that You are there. Do not let a single person touch her or make a decision about her care that isn’t inline with YOUR plan Father. Please Lord, PLEASE! please heal her.
If you read my blog, and are praying for Taryn please leave a comment. I know that you are all out there as I get an average of 133 hits a day. I need encouragement right now. I need some physical proof of the support I have out there. I know its weird to comment and it’s easier to be a “lurker” and just read my blog, but I need to know who is out there and is standing in the gap for us. Even if I don’t know you. This is a super lonely long road. And I am growing very very tired.