Other than being completely exhausted, I feel like I’m in a better emotional place. I had a yelling match with God this morning, and I’m pretty sure he won, but at least he knew how serious I am about needing to see him move in our life.
I haven’t given up on my child. But since she has been born, I’ve taken her back from God. I gave her to him when I was on bed rest but like I said I took her back when she was born. Praying and telling God she is his and he can have her back is a very hard thing to do. Ben and I know He has a purpose but we forget so easily.
I’m going to church tomorrow. I feel like the Lord is prompting me to go and ask for help. We know the ONLY way to get through this is prayer. And I know that you all are praying, but there is something powerful about gathering together in a group to pray. So I am requesting some sort of prayer vigil type thing.
For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them.”
She has stabilized today to a more acceptable place, but still very critical. We talked to the head neonatologist and helped us to understand that the reason for this HUGE set back is because of the pulmonary hypertension. It is something that has slowly increased over time and of course hit her hard. So we understand now that all these meds are treating this problem which hasn’t been much of a problem till now.
Thank you for responding to my last post. It really helps to have physical proof of all the love and support.