Bits and Pieces


Hard stuff. 

Last Friday we had to drive out the funeral home and make decisions about the future that most don’t make ever in their life or they make them as they age.  We, after 1 year and 6 months of marriage, Ben age 43 & myself age 31, had to buy our family plot.  That’s not what is supposed to happen. 

We took the rest of the weekend to just be together and try to recover from the exhaustion.

Monday, Ben went back to work and I started planning & organizing the Memorial service.  Actually I cleaned the up-stairs a lot.  I found that I couldn’t sit still that day.  We had an extra bed from when we rented out the bonus room, so I schlepped it into Taryn’s room and set it up.  I could not walk by that bedroom day after day seeing it sit empty. 

Today, I spent the day still trying to get some stuff done for the memorial, but really Kristina did it all for me.  She has taken on so many tasks for me I truly don’t know how I would be doing life right now without her support.  She is amazingly creative and created the most beautiful, sweet programs for the memorial service. 

Speaking of the service.  In case you are wondering, because I would be…

While many people use the phrases “funeral service” and “memorial service” interchangeably, they are actually different services.

A “funeral service” is any official ceremony that takes place in the presence of a casketed body. In other words, the body (inside a casket) is present during the ceremony. The casket lid may be open or closed.

A “memorial service”, on the other hand, is any official ceremony that takes place without the casketed body being present. For example, the ceremony might take place with just an urn containing cremated remains (i.e. “ashes”) serving as the focal point of the ceremony. Alternatively, the focal point could be just a picture of the deceased displayed on an easel.

I hate the word “Funeral” which is why I am referring to this service as a “Memorial”.  This is a time for us to remember and celebrate Miss Taryn’s little life while she was here on earth.  No, there will be no viewing, but the casket will be present.  One time when I was really little I went to a funeral for my Great Grandma…there was a viewing…and I viewed.  That experience never sat well with me.  Also, There will be a portion of the service where we will be opening the floor for anyone to speak.

I am looking forward to the healing that I know the Lord will provide to us on this day.  But, I am not looking forward to the finality of this chapter in our life.


4 Replies to “Bits and Pieces”

  1. Janelle, you are an amazing woman, so honest to the core. God is continuing to use you. Im thankful He has blessed you with such a wonderful friend. Us women need our ‘person’ to help get through tough times. I will be praying and thinking of you all on Friday…


  2. One of the pictures I love of Taryn is her lying on the sheepskin. It reminded me of you. She looked so comfortable on it and you always love your fluffy comfort. This chapter may close but this beautiful child will still be a beautiful memory. However short her time on earth was, her eternal life now is going to be awsome because of you and Ben.


  3. Today is “the Day After.” Yesterday was intense and highly emotional. The beautiful and sweet memorial for Taryn was so nicely coordinated and went so seamlessly well that it seemed (sad to say) that it was what was meant for her all along.

    Your story is an extremely difficult one to tell, and I was squirming in my seat and tears were streaming down my face as you told it. I don’t ask “why,” as I learned long ago that such life challenges are a part of our “refining by fire.” All of the speakers’ stories that were shared and the group that were there to share this powerful day with you are proof that you are deeply loved and that Taryn was and still is a very special gift.

    I recall the story of Job, and how as a test of his faith, Satan was allowed to take away Job’s wife and 10 children, as well as strike him with a horrible disease. Yet Job remained faithful to God, and was blessed with healing and a new family, and a place in history as an example of profound faith.

    In the story of Abraham and Isaac, a crucial point of that story was not mentioned yesterday. It is the story of Isaac’s mother, Sar’ai, or Sarah (Genesis, Chapters 17-23). Sarah was barren and so desperately wanted a child. She first took matters into her own hands and gave over her Egyptian maidservant, Hagar, to her husband in order to get children from her. As the story unfolds, messing around with outside sources really didn’t play out very well for Sarah. MUCH later, though, because of Abraham’s faith and humble service, they were rewarded in their OLD AGE with a legitimate biological son, Isaac.

    And then, God asked Abraham for their beloved son to be delivered back to Him. How Sarah’s heart must have ached with worry whenever that child left her sight! She had been promised that her child would become NATIONS and that KINGS would come from him! There is no mention of her knowing what Abraham was up to when he left with Isaac that day to take a trip to Moriah. We can only guess and hope that he discussed it with Sarah and they came to an agreement. She may have had no idea what was in store for Isaac that day, but she let him go, in submission to her husband. What a heart-wrenching, gut-churning decision that must be, to release your child into the unknown! It’s not always easy to maintain faith and be submissive. In fact, because of our imperfect ego, and free will, it’s often very difficult. However, Sarah handed him over, and Abraham did as well, and they were obedient to God.

    And how hard it must have been for Abraham! Just as Abraham was about to sacrifice his precious son, Sarah’s firstborn, God provided a ram, a proxy, to take his child’s place, and from that child’s many descendants came the Savior, Jesus Christ. (Gen. 22: 12-18)

    Although your story unfolds very differently, it is just as significant. God deemed your beautiful and beloved daughter, your firstborn, to be a good and acceptable sacrifice, for what reasons have yet to be revealed. This short chapter of your story has been written, and shall be remembered, and shall touch many with a witness of Christ, and you, too, shall be blessed and rewarded for your faith.

    Your story has many more chapters ahead, so I and others continue to hold you in our prayers that you will be blessed and continue to listen to and obey God, and that you will be strengthened to endure, and always remember that God is LOVE (1 John 4:8) and that LOVE bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things, never fails, and is the greatest power in the universe (1 Cor. 13).


Comments are closed.