Last Friday we had to drive out the funeral home and make decisions about the future that most don’t make ever in their life or they make them as they age. We, after 1 year and 6 months of marriage, Ben age 43 & myself age 31, had to buy our family plot. That’s not what is supposed to happen.
We took the rest of the weekend to just be together and try to recover from the exhaustion.
Monday, Ben went back to work and I started planning & organizing the Memorial service. Actually I cleaned the up-stairs a lot. I found that I couldn’t sit still that day. We had an extra bed from when we rented out the bonus room, so I schlepped it into Taryn’s room and set it up. I could not walk by that bedroom day after day seeing it sit empty.
Today, I spent the day still trying to get some stuff done for the memorial, but really Kristina did it all for me. She has taken on so many tasks for me I truly don’t know how I would be doing life right now without her support. She is amazingly creative and created the most beautiful, sweet programs for the memorial service.
Speaking of the service. In case you are wondering, because I would be…
While many people use the phrases “funeral service” and “memorial service” interchangeably, they are actually different services.
A “funeral service” is any official ceremony that takes place in the presence of a casketed body. In other words, the body (inside a casket) is present during the ceremony. The casket lid may be open or closed.
A “memorial service”, on the other hand, is any official ceremony that takes place without the casketed body being present. For example, the ceremony might take place with just an urn containing cremated remains (i.e. “ashes”) serving as the focal point of the ceremony. Alternatively, the focal point could be just a picture of the deceased displayed on an easel.
I hate the word “Funeral” which is why I am referring to this service as a “Memorial”. This is a time for us to remember and celebrate Miss Taryn’s little life while she was here on earth. No, there will be no viewing, but the casket will be present. One time when I was really little I went to a funeral for my Great Grandma…there was a viewing…and I viewed. That experience never sat well with me. Also, There will be a portion of the service where we will be opening the floor for anyone to speak.
I am looking forward to the healing that I know the Lord will provide to us on this day. But, I am not looking forward to the finality of this chapter in our life.