Arms Open Wide

Do you have those memories that you try not to let yourself relive?  Because they bring on emotions that are hard to deal with…Emotions that sometimes you think will never go away?  Emotions that knock you to your knees?

I’m standing today drying my hair listening to music and all of a sudden the memory of me holding Taryn after she passed and Kristina pulling back the curtain and walking over to hug me.  The look on her face is one that I will never forget.  It said…This is not what I want to be doing today.  It said my dear friend I’m so sorry.  I remember looking down at Taryn and kissing her forehead because I couldn’t stand to look at Kris and the look of sadness, fear, and helplessness that consumed her.

This journey didn’t just affect Ben and me.  It affected so many others.  And sometimes, all though I am thankful for the massive amounts of support, I wish I could have done this by myself so others wouldn’t have to go through it too. 

This life is hard.  Ben and I have been blessed beyond measure by the Lord and His faithfulness, but it is still hard.

Arms Open Wide

Take my life I lay it down
At the cross where I am found
All I have I give to You oh God

Take my hands and make them clean
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

Take my moments and my days
Let each breath that I take
Be ever only for You oh God

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

My whole life is Yours
I give it all
Surrendered to Your Name
And forever I will pray
Have Your way
Have Your way

Oh here I stand
Arms open wide
Oh I am Yours
And You are mine

This song is my daily prayer.  But it’s hard sometimes to pray it with meaning and truth.  To live your life like this is hard.

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5 Replies to “Arms Open Wide”

  1. I find it hard to live this prayer, as well… I am sure that you will always have reminders of Taryn and it will feel… bittersweet… I suppose, at times. For me, being part of your “journey” was a blessing and a way to be part of your lives, and do as Jesus commanded in the scriptures: He basically wants us to pray with one another and be supportive of our Christian brothers and sisters, in times of great sadness as well as joy. This is what living really is: Being in relation with one another. Taryn brought many people to you, and you to them in a circle of love. Some bonds are stronger and these will deepen over time. Other contacts will be light as a feather and brush your lives periodically and tangentially. Know that while you remember your little girl, you, too, are remembered by others who have known you only a little time, like us, and also by your family who have known you since you were a baby. And, most importantly, you are known and loved by your Father in Heaven. When your memories are evoked, and you image yourself holding Taryn, also know that God is holding you in His arms, kissing your forehead and whispering to you, as well… With fondness and love, Lynne.

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  2. Ok we were all having a taryn moment today. I heard the song broken by lifehouse and everything about that song .. The words the music just took me back to the day taryn went to be with the Lord and I started to cry on my way to my appointment.  That day forever changed me.  There are just certain moments you never want to experience … That topped the charts for me.  Seeing you the resignation in your face the fatigue and pain…   Seeing her and wanting so badly to see her hooked back up to all those machines … Walking away from her watching you say goodbye … Its forever etched in my mind.   Thank  the Lord that we have the hope that we have and know that we didn’t have to say goodbye to her we just had to say see you soon … But that doesn’t mean the process is easy or that it is any less painful.  I still grieve her and what could have been.   I just hope that I am half the mom you are to taryn and half the friend you have been to me.  

    One thing is for sure … The olmscheids have made quite a statement of dedication dependence and faith to the Lord and a witness to everyone of Gods enduring strength provision and peace.  And now having said that NO MORE statement making for a while haha 😉

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