Oh Glorious Pregnancy

I always imagined that pregnancy was going to be this glorious event where you walked around with a big belly eating everything in site because you were allowed. I heard stories of how much my mom loved it and how if she just kept some crackers in her system she was fine. And that discomfort only lasted for a few weeks and then it was over.

My friends, pregnancy is not glorious. If the end prize wasn’t a beautiful baby I’d never would have attempted this again. Taking estrogen and progesterone has blown me up to whale proportions. I look 15 weeks pregnant and I’m only 7. And it isn’t cute. When I say I have “morning sickness” let me be more specific. I have ALL DAY SICKNESS! I’m not even sure it ever goes away so it’s probably better called 24 hr sickness. And it is not the oh I’ll munch on crackers and be fine. It’s the kind of sick where you are wishing death upon yourself because you know that is the only thing that will bring sweet relief.

Imagine if you will a time you have been in a car on a very very winding road, and the road you are on is miles and miles long and you are so sick you can’t think straight, talk, open your eyes….function. That is what it feels like for me. All the time. It is called Hyperemesis Gravidarum. And because I’m me, and can never do anything just a little, and have to go all out…of course I would have this! Duh!

In school they made us carry around sacks of flour to help us understand what it would be like if you had a baby. Now I think a better exercise would be to spin the kids around until they started puking up things they ate from last year so they would understand what it feels like to be pregnant. That and keep them awake for 72 hrs straight. I’m not kidding… A lot less teen pregnancies would be happening.

I have to take Zofran, which I am guessing helps because it will take me down from “please someone kill me” to “I feel like I’m going to die”! But you can see I’m somewhat skeptical of its effectiveness. And of course it comes with really cool side effects, like migraine type headaches and constipation…these are the top 2 most common complaints. My friend got the migraines which were supper awful because let’s face it, if you are suffering from a migraine the last thing you are reaching for is Tylenol. And tylenol is the only thing you can take when pregnant. Useless useless drug that Tylenol. Well, I don’t get the headaches…nope I get the constipation! I’m not going into details, but let’s just say it is awful! And the fact I can’t drink copious amounts of liquid which is the recommended cure, just adds to the issue.

Again, pregnancy so not glorious. And right now I do not have that expectant mother glow…unless I just got done puking cuz that causes a bit of flushness to the cheeks.

Please understand I knew what I was getting into when we started trying again. I knew I would be this sick. And yes in 33 more weeks it will all be worth it. But, right now it is supper hard to be pregnant. And yes I’m complaining, and no I’m not being ungrateful. I would rather be sick because I’m pregnant then not be. When you feel this ill you are allowed to complain a little. 🙂