I need a download and file away button. It is exhausting constantly having all these emotions. In one moment I’m so sad, and then the next is filled with contentment.

Life causes emotions and we need to experience them and move through those emotions, but honestly 14 months of intense emotion is overwhelming. I wish there was a way to speed this process up to over-and-done with. I know it is not healthy to ignore the emotions and put them in a place of non-existence, but oh how I so badly want to. To ignore all the hurt and frustration.

I want to be have emotions about the normal daily grind of life. These wounds are wounds that never fully heal. They are always there, sometimes allowing you to forget and then the pain comes at you like a flood. I would never want to give up my time with Taryn, but I so wish it was different.

We are supposed to praise our Lord in the storms and remain faithful when having faith is impossible. I never let myself go to a place of doubting God’s intentions because I don’t want to give Satan that power. But, it is a constant struggle to walk that line of faith and move through the human emotions that I need to, to remain mentally healthy.


5 Replies to “Emotions”

  1. When the pain comes flooding you, remember that God is good. He is not capable of doing anything not good. One day, we will understand why all these trials happened to us. The Rocky Peak sermon last week might be worth listening to again through podcast

    BTW, i think all of us are slightly mentally unhealthy and that makes the life interesting.


  2. Yes, processing emotions concerning loss and separation and grief is hard work and will leave you feeling exhausted at times. We are sad that you have to go through these trials; it is hard to understand and accept and we feel sorrow for all your losses. It doesn’t take it away, I know, but we pray for your family and ask God to give you and Ben strength to continue your journey. Our prayers are with you, still…


  3. For you, Janelle:

    Psalms 17:8 “Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings”~ some days we feel the cool of His shelter. Other day’s we feel left out in the scorching sun, sure we can’t survive another day. And yet we do.



  4. My Dear Janelle,” Time” you will always remember
    Taryn,but time will ease the pain. The more the years go by the less espisodes of grief and heartache will come. Our Father will give you the peace and comfort you need. I miss her too,however I try to live in the
    present like He tells us to do, its the only way I survive and live life. I love you, Janelle you are the daughter I will never have ooxxx Mom “O”


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