It’s not Always About me

I had lunch today with a friend. I believe I met her in 4th grade…maybe she came to my elementary school in a different grade…not important. We went to the same Jr/Sr High together and graduated together. After graduation we lost touch, but through the magic of Facebook we reconnected.

While I was in the hospital with Taryn, and after Taryn’s birth she was consistent in her support and prayer. When we transferred Taryn to UCLA I remember her telling me that she was at UCLA and if I needed anything…anything, to call her. I never called as it was such a whirlwind of an experience there and it wasn’t the time to “reconnect” with an old friend. BUT her heartfelt sympathy and her willingness to reach out went very far.

During lunch today we caught up basically going through what we have done since high school. We got to the day Taryn went to be with Jesus, and I was telling her what happened that morning.

This friend, told me her account of that same morning…what her life looked like when she got the news…how it affected her.

When she got the news that morning, she was across the street from the hospital working. She could see out the window to the hospital. She told me it completely stunned her. She called her mom who had also been praying for us to tell her the news. While on the phone with her mom, she walked to the window, put her hand on the window and prayed for our family, all while her heart was breaking for us.

I know there are so many people who are on this Journey with us. And…I want to know …not because I need an ego boost…but because, this has always been about how others have been touched by Taryn’s life…I want to know how her life and passing affected you. I want to know how you felt when you heard the news that she went home to Jesus.

So, please leave me your comment or email at Ourjourneyinfaith [at] Hotmail [dot] com.

And…thank you dear friend for your prayers, notes of support, and sharing how Taryn’s story impacted you. It helped me to remember that Taryn’s life was meant for more than I understand, and that she affected your life too. (In essence, it’s not always about me…)


4 Replies to “It’s not Always About me”

  1. I’m assuming I know who this friend is, and yes, she is ‘dear’ and it is amazing the set of trials she too, has had to walk. Makes you long for heaven all the more. Nothing like the gift of an old friend. Janelle, as a mom, my heart so easily crumbles at the thought of anyone ‘losing’ a child. I ‘know’ the despair in that thought. You know the reality. Unfortunately, Taryn was not the first child that I’ve ‘known’ and grieved and cried out to God over their passing, asking the ‘whys’ and aching for the parent’s (friend’s) heart. The picture you posted yesterday, however, is the impact Taryn’s life has on mine… You holding her tight and not wanting to let go seconds before having to. Unless you have a child, there is no way to understand that feeling. How in the world would I ever be able to ‘let go’ of their physical presence? I could literally ‘feel’ that emotion, looking at that picture. However, I knew it the minute I heard the ‘news’. I didn’t have to see the picture. Aching for your heart that minute and what you ultimately had to do, in letting her physical presence go. I never, for once, will take lightly the gift it is to hold my kids physically, touch their sweet faces, and not let go. Because of Taryn, I hold them tighter, love them ‘stronger’ and ‘better’, and see my role as ‘mom’ in a different light and as a daily gift that could be taken away at any time. That is her impact on my life. Love you, dear friend,



    1. We talked about longing for heaven even more now today. You so perfectly put into words the emotions I had that day. Thank you for all your support. 🙂


  2. Because of the bond we shared during this time in our lives, I know I was privy to information not everyone got. I remember getting your text the night before about stopping the meds. I prayed so hard that night. I kept checking my phone like it was a time bomb about to explode. I just kept praying. I woke early, because Abby needed feeding, and again I checked my phone and your blog. I prayed that the rest you got on that pull out couch was enough to sustain you.
    I was checking your blog so frequently that morning, that I saw your post moments after it went up that Taryn was in heaven. I didn’t just cry, I sobbed. I cried so hard I woke Abby. And as I scooped her up in my arms with tears running down my face, I held her tighter than I had ever held her before. It was the moment I realized she was the last of the 4 of them left here on earth. I dropped to my knees with her in my hands and I thanked HIM for all of his miracles. I prayed that he swallowed you whole with his peace. And I whispered to Abby that it was her job now to live for all of them. I told her it is her calling to live life to the fullest because that was her gift – to live. And that we can never, ever take it for granted.
    I think about that day a lot. And we talk about Taryn a lot, too. I tell Abby that she has a guardian angel, and her name is Taryn.


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