While we have officially started the Private Domestic Adoption process; signing the contract with our Attorney, turning in the Home Study Questionaire, and starting the writing of our Profile, it hasn’t really seemed “real” that we were adopting! Today, we signed the contract with our Home Study agency and received all the paper work that we will have to fill out and turn in, in the next few months.
OH MY GOODNESS!! It’s really real. We are adopting. When I got the email with everything, my stomach dropped like I was on roller coaster and my heart didn’t stop beating rapidly for about an hour! (I’ve ridden soo many of them these last few years!)
I have been writing and working on our profile, but it seemed like the “due date” for all this was for sometime in the near future NOT ASAP! I’ve mentioned before that this feels somewhat like writing a term paper. This huge mountian of thinking, collecting (or more like remembering) information, and then writing it all out. And the writer’s block comes when I think too much about what to write. I get nervous I am going to leave things out that I really want to say!
So! Here is a quick run-down on the process.
Sign with the Attorney…Check!
Our attorney and crew will be working with the birth mother (Woman who will be placing her child for adoption.) During this time they will counsel her, verify medical records, run background checks on her and that kind of stuff.
We need to write a profile. A profile is basically a color brochure that the birth mother will read and look through to determine if she would like to get to know us better to ultimately place her child with us. This takes a loooong time for us to write out, and collect all the pictures. This is the part that is a bit stressful to write as we only get one chance at impressing this birth mother so we have to make it GREAT! We have to sell ourselves in such a wonderfully descriptive way so so she will have this picture in her mind of the kind of people we are and what type of lifestyle we live. We will write all this stuff out and then send it to the person who is going to design it and add her finesse to what we wrote. She will then, once it’s been signed off by our attorney, send it out for printing. Once the Attorney’s office receives the 10 page profiles we are good to go LIVE!
Once we are live, our profile can be shown to the birth mothers who are in their 3rd trimester and where both of our criteria matches. (Like do we want a boy/girl; (either)…what are our racial preferences…what are we willing to look at by a case-by-case basis in regard to drug use? And if our criteria matches with the birth mom’s, the social worker will then give our profile to her to check out and see if she would like to get to know us better. If she wants to get to know us better, we talk on the phone, and then if all goes well she picks us! We will stay in contact with her for the duration of the pregnancy.
And while alll of that is going on we will be working on our Home Study. This is where they want to know anything and everything about you. You have to write a couple pages on your life growing up, they need additional questions answered to determine if you are wanting to adopt for a good reason, and not to hurt children. We have to be finger-printed and background checked. We have to get our driving records. We have to get physicals and have our physicians sign off and write about our health. We have to get our house in shape to comply with CA code. And we’ll need to provide 4 letters of references.
Then, the baby is on his/her way! We won’t know if we have to travel to another state until we are matched up. We will be there for the birth of the baby, and will bring the baby home from the hospital. If we are out of state we will have to stay in that state for a couple of weeks to get all the paperwork in order to leave the babies’ birth state and come back to CA. While we have the baby for the next 6 months he/she will be ours, when the six months is up we go to court for the final hearing to adopt our child!
So! See! Lots of writing. I haven’t been in much of a blogging mood lately because I have been up to my eyeballs in writing our life story! Hopefully the next time you hear from me, we will be live and able to start the matching process!!!