New Body, Tears, & Being Pleasantly Surprised

Moms…you know how when you have a baby and nothing fits but sweats and your husbands t-shirts? And then months later or in my case years, you’re still wearing them because it’s just more convenient than going out and shopping for clothes for your “new” body? It’s sad and depressing. Who wants to stand in a dressing room trying to find a new style of pants because the one style that you loved and fit into perfectly no longer works for your more womanly figure…thank you pregnancy hormones for changing my hips! Those hormones wreak havoc on your body, and I swear that all I had to do was look at my fertility meds and I’d gain 10 lbs. Also…if you are like me, the “top” portion of you body is drastically different after children than before. Drastically different!!

The other day I was excited because I lost a couple pounds! The hus happened to be in the room as I was weighing myself and asked if I lost anything. I think the jumping up and down throwing my hands in the air cheering for myself gave it away. I replied with a “yes”, but it’s the same two I keep losing and finding!!! It was still a small victory and I felt as thin as I was in high school!! Which was…wayyyyy skinny! Oh to be that small again…ha ha ha…Never. Gonna. Happen….Ever. Again.

But, that is ok. I’m a mom, (I literally have the stripes to prove it.) I’m 15 years older! I’m allowed to not have the body of a 16 year old boy!! (I really was flat chested at one point in my life.) I am not satisfied with how I look, as some toning would do me a world of good, and I’m working on that. But, are we (us normal women) ever really satisfied with how we look?? Well, maybe sometimes we are but then after a binge of junk food and some water retention we loathe ourselves again. I have come to realize that the tiny bit of satisfaction I feel at any given moment, is usually very short-lived.

We had to have pictures taken for our adoption profile. It took me a WEEK to find TWO outfits that didn’t make me feel HUGE!!! I almost laid on the floor of numerous changing rooms in the fetal position crying and vowing that I was never going to eat again!!! See, when I shop I imagine that I’m this tall, really thin, perfectly proportion TEENAGER where all the clothes look as amazing on me as they do on the mannequins. Then, when I put the clothes on I realize I look nothing like what my imagination has dreamed up and instantly need to take a Zofran to make me feel better!

I say allll that to say…I just knew there was no way our pictures were going to turn out that great, because I wouldn’t be happy with how I looked.
{I’m really not fishing for compliments, to boost my ego…my hus tells me I’m beautiful all the time. 🙂 I’m just being honest and super sarcastic about the whole thing. 😉 }

You can imagine my stress level the day of our pictures. I knew no amount of photoshop was going to cut it. I was kind-of dreading seeing the finished product actually. We saw a sneak peak and I am amazed!!!!!! Our photographer and friend, knew I was sensitive to looking like, well…myself…so I’m sure I won’t ever see the really unflattering ones. She took quite a bit of pictures and I am fairly certain there are more bad ones than good!

BUT!! What a treat to have some really really wonderful pictures of me and the hus!!! I am literally blown away by how wonderful these pictures have turned out!!!! Speechless!!!. I feel as though I got to be “Cinderella” for a day!!! Total. Ego. Boost!!!!

Here is a little sneak peak…


Thank you to my Bestest for helping me pull the clothes and make-up together and for telling me I’m thin and beautiful even though we both know the truth! 😉

And, thank you to my friend Jodi of Jodi Elliott Photography (Website link & Facebook link) for blessing us with beautiful pictures that we will forever treasure!!


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